OMG – yet another report of a bride being angry over the gift she and her spouse received from one of their wedding guests. This time the bride is complaining over what she considers to be a cheap gift that does not cover the cost of what the guest ate or drank at the reception.
Not long ago we all heard about the couple who weren’t happy with their gift basket filled with food items — apparently one of the brides was gluten intolerant, and the couple felt that “having a wedding is all about saving for the future.”
Seems like the people getting married are suffering from social memory loss.
1. They are forgetting what is the point of a wedding reception
2. They are forgetting what is a “host” and what is a “guest”
The point of a wedding reception
A reception (by definition) is a “formal party to welcome somebody or celebrate an event such as a wedding.” Therefore a wedding reception is a celebration of two people who just got married. Key word here is “celebration.”
The level of formality can vary from couple to couple, as can all of the other details of the celebration itself (dinner or just cake and punch; dancing or just background music; 150 or more people or just 25, for example).
What stays the same is that it is a CELEBRATION. A time for festivities to have fun and rejoice in the special event.
Host vs Guest
Think about this . . .
You’re having a couple friends over for dinner.
Instead of burgers and hot dogs, you decide to serve something a little fancier – maybe a delicious prime rib or filet of sole – with a nice bottle of wine to accompany dinner, and a decadent dessert afterwards.
Your friends come, you eat and drink, visit, and at the end of the evening they go home. Now, they didn’t bring anything with them – no envelope with money, no gift. They didn’t give you anything at all. They didn’t “pay you back” for the wonderful dinner you invited them to, prepared, and served.
Do you feel slighted? Of course not! You invited them. You chose to have them over. You chose what to serve. You hosted a dinner party and they were your guests.
So, should this be any different than if the dinner party were a wedding reception? The answer is a resounding NO!
You are still hosting a dinner party, only on a larger scale. You chose who to invite. You chose what to serve. You’re hosting a wedding reception and they are your guests.
Definition of “Guest” (definition found on Bing.com)
- recipient of hospitality: somebody who receives hospitality from somebody else
- somebody entertained at another’s expense: a recipient of a meal or entertainment that is paid for by somebody else
So, if you’re the ones getting married, be gracious hosts, treat your guests to dinner, dancing, or whatever you choose. And if you’re a guest, celebrate the first day of your loved ones’ marriage and (even though the point is the celebration) bring a gift that you want to give, (whether cash or a pretty present, it’s up to you), and spend how much you want to spend.
The only expectations are that everyone has a good time and that everyone leaves with wonderful memories of the wedding celebration.