Q. What do I do when guests RSVP and state on the reply card that the number of guests planning to attend is larger than the number we’ve invited?
A. If your name is on the envelope you’re invited; if your name isn’t on the envelope then you’re not. Simple as that.
Unfortunately too many people don’t get it. They don’t mean to be inconsiderate, but they just don’t stop and think what having unexpected people show up to your wedding can mean.
The more people you have means you will need more food and drink, more tables and linens, more favors, more everything. And that means spending more money! Also, there is the potential for space concerns. Your venue may not be able to comfortably hold more people.
So what’s a bride to do?
Call (or have your maid of honor, bridesmaid or other family member) the “offending” guest and politely explain that although you’d love to expand your guest list to include so and so at your wedding, your budget or the room, just won’t accommodate any more people than who you have already invited.
Some guests may be offended, often the parents of little ones. But they are the ones in the wrong, not you! You have every right to invite whom you want (and to not invite whomever you want). It’s your decision (as well as your fiance’s).
Be very careful if you decide to let the “offending” guest bring their extras, as other guests who have followed etiquette, and not added extra people may become offended themselves when they see someone else bring more people. They may think “why wasn’t my little Johnny invited when their little Suzie was?”
If many of your guests have children, but you aren’t planning on including their kids in the festivities, you may consider providing on-site childcare, and have them in a separate room than where the reception will be held.
Do you have a question or wedding dilemma that you need help with? Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or at 937-235-2586.
Hearts, Joy, Love!