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1. An invited guest shows up to your wedding who didn’t RSVP
One of the biggest headaches in planning a wedding is getting your invited guests to RSVP. Most people aren’t trying to be inconsiderate, they just forget.
But you’ve carefully counted all the “yes” responses and have planned accordingly – gave an accurate head count to the caterer, ordered enough chair covers and sashes, made enough favors … Having to accommodate unplanned people at the last minute just throws everything off.
Don’t assume that just because someone didn’t RSVP it means that they are not coming. Instead, when that “Please respond by” date on your RSVP card comes and goes, you (with help from your fiancé, mom, your bridesmaids) need to contact the non-RSVPers and find out if they are planning to attend.
You may decide to have an extra table at your reception to accommodate any unexpected guests.
2. Someone RSVPs, but you didn’t invite them
Now this isn’t about them bringing someone because you put “and Guest” on their invitation, because that gives them the ok to bring one person, whoever they want.
I’m talking about when an invited guest takes it upon his or herself and invites someone else to your wedding.
Because they have RSVPed, this gives you time to figure out why they think they were invited (and who really invited them). Once this is determined, contact the over-zealous inviter, and, politely but firmly, explain to them that their “+ 1” is not on your guest list, and you cannot accommodate any additional people.
Again, you may choose to have an extra table to accommodate any unplanned extras.
3. Someone just shows up (and no RSVP either), who you didn’t even invite
You didn’t invite them. They didn’t RSVP. They just show up. Even though they probably aren’t intending to be wedding crashers, technically that’s what they are.
This issue is more prevalent since Facebook and other social media, since these methods of communication allow for many people have access to your wedding plans, not just those you’ve actually sent or plan to send an invitation to.
You have two options. You may decide to have an extra table to accommodate any extra guests. Or, you can have someone at your reception with a master list of who was invited and expected to attend. Anyone not on the list are politely and tactfully told that they weren’t expected and are not permitted to enter.
Do you have a question or wedding dilemma? Let me know. I’d be happy to help. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or at 937-235-2586.
Hearts, Joy, Love!