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The decision for a woman to change her name after marriage or to keep her maiden name is a highly personal choice. Although I took my husband’s name, I respect those women who decide not to change their name.
However . . .
It’s some of the reasoning behind keeping her maiden name that I don’t get. Such as:
- My name is my identity
Ok. My name is on my ID, so I suppose that means it is my “identity.” But guess what. It doesn’t define who I am, just labels what I’m called. The essence of me isn’t different. So why what I am called change who I am?
Shakespeare’s quote from Romeo and Juliet comes to mind, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
- Strong women don’t change their name
A strong woman knows who she is and what she wants for herself. She knows what is in her heart and isn’t afraid to follow that. A strong woman is confident in her beliefs and choices. So . . . Wouldn’t a “strong woman” remain strong if even she chooses to change her last name?
- The paperwork is so much trouble
Yes, it is time consuming. You’ll need to change your drivers license, bank accounts, credit cards, and insurance to name a few. And you’ll have to wait until you have certified copies of your marriage license. There are websites to make this process easier, such as The Knot, Miss Now Mrs, and Bride Kit.
Of course, there are plenty of reasons to not change your last name (or using your maiden name as your middle name) that make perfect sense, including:
- honoring your ancestral heritage,
- changing your name would be confusing if you’re well established in a career,
- your maiden name just sounds better (if Rose Archer married Adam Redd she’d be Rose Redd, or if Callie Fisher married Ron Alley she’d be Callie Alley).
As with most things wedding-related, there is no one “right” or “wrong” answer, but what is right or wrong for you and what will work best for you as a couple.
What are your thoughts on a woman changing her name after marriage? Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or at 937-235-2586.
Hearts, Joy, Love!